Alcohol Always Wins

 One is too many, twenty-four is never enough
And after that many, do you really think you're tough
Sitting all by yourself, stuck in that room alone
Do you really wish to be an old forgotten bone
Another sip is what you’ll take
To numb the feelings, you wish were fake
The darkness consumes you, it's all around
It snuck in like always, not making a sound
You make up your mind to finally let go
And with the blade to your throat, you’ll reap what you sow

Tired

 It amazes me how little people care these days
It makes me want to scream in many ways
It is getting harder and harder everyday day
To look myself in the mirror and say
That today will be better than yesterday
But it hardly ever works out that way
My days are short and filled with tears
My nights I’m taunted by my fears
I feel as though I’ve wasted these years
Trying to let go of what has past
Failing epically, but I’m doing my best
Please forgive me, I’ve been deprived of rest

The Devil Calls

 When its late and night has fallen
I hear his voice, my name he's calling
I don't want to answer but feel I must
For if I don't, I'll be left as dust
He has me trained just like a dog
But he always leaves me in a fog
My mind is broken, my heart all drained
My emotions fleeting, I am so pained
Locked in my head, he’s made his home
He ties me down with lock and key
And proceeds to throw it in the sea
Gone forever, just like my dreams
Nothing is ever as it seems
He likes to keep me as his pet
Knowing I will never win this bet
His evil eyes are everywhere
No one can escape his heartless stare
If looks could kill, he’d be the winner
For he is the most dangerous sinner
When I feel to weak to try
He lets me out to try and fly
But my wings he's clipped so bad you see
I'll never be the bird in my dreams
Free to roam the world with glee
That’s not my story and I'm sad to say
That real life never ends up that way
His eyes meet mine and for just a second
I thought I could hear his black heart beckon
For something more, something right
Something that doesn't make him fight
Stuck in a forest surrounded by trees
Nightmares that haunt him, he drops to his knees
It's a one-way ticket to hell, best believe
I've been here for years, I can never leave
Doomed to this torment, from under the earth
To the devil's child, I will soon give birth
He will tear me apart, limb from limb
And he will eat me alive, down to bones and skin

Tricked

My depression is escalating day by day
I feel like exploding, whenever I hear them say
“Just get over it, it's all in your head”
But they don't quite grasp, that YES, IT IS in my head
My head, my heart and my body are at war
I've never felt such mental agony before
Loneliness is no new feeling to me
It's been my best friend, since I was wee
Now I feel that there is no hope
And I’m struggling hard to try and cope
It feels like this is my hell loop
And I get the feeling, I have been duped

I Find Life...

 I find life to be a bit funny,
Mainly when the skies are sunny.
I find life to be a bit scary,
Mainly when the skies are dark.
I find life to be a bit hard,
Super, duper hard.
I find life to be a bit boring,
Mainly every day.
I find life to be a bit problematic,
Mainly when I’m emotional.
I find life to be a bit dull,
Mainly because life is NOT a movie.
I find life to be a bit hectic,
Mainly because I get overwhelmed.
I find life to be a bit backwards,
Mainly because society has fallen to ruins.
I find life to be a bit cruel,
Mainly because the universe is relentless.
I find life to be a bit of a lie,
Mainly because NO ONE knows how to tell the truth.
I find life to be a bit annoying,
Mainly because nothing seems to work out right.
I find life to be a bit pointless,
Mainly because the majority of us lead meaningless lives.
I find life to be a bit greedy,
Mainly because it doesn't share the nicer things easily.
I find life to be a bit lonely,
Mainly because of not knowing how to cope.
I find life to be a bit saddening,
Mainly when I think about the past.
I find life to be a bit ruthless,
Mainly because nothing is ever simple.
I find life to be a bit black and white,
Mainly because it gets harder and harder to see the colour in life.
I find life to be a bit fucky,
Just all around fucky.

Madness

I often wonder, more times than not

What it is I did to deserve to rot
Slowly withering away to dust
My heart has been covered by nothing but rust
My soul has left me, how I still function is a mystery
There's nothing that allows me to have a destiny
And it doesn’t matter what I do
Everyone just hates me, and I do too
I do not know what self love is
The only things hurled at me were hurtful words
And literal sharp sticks and hard stones
My body is bruised, from my head to my toes
My bones are shattered, my body is feasted on by crows
I’ve been wandering aimlessly along this path
Although, I fear I have taken a wrong turn
In this darkness I will surely burn
If you ever come across my ashes
Then you shall too be trapped in this madness.

The Devils Foul Lair

When it’s dark and there is no hope
It gets harder and harder, just to cope
With these demons deep inside
How do I convince them to go and hide
But with me they stay, bound together
Forced to wander this desert, forever
I cannot die, though I have tried
To end this torment that I am tied
Amongst the chaos, I shall try
To slay the devil that lays within
Oh how I wish it were true
To say it died, so take this as your cue
To leave this awful place behind
And try to push it out of your mind
Run away while you have the chance
Do not give him your final dance
With my life I beg you please
To leave me behind with great ease
Do not think of me again
For I shall be hidden deep within
Your conscience mind and beating heart
His dark plans I hope you thwart
but take much caution if you dare
To enter his disgusting, foul lair
Spiders creep and bugs will weep
Through the caves you must sweep
Be swift with your moves, you cannot miss
Or else embrace deaths cold kiss

Untitled

A knife at my throat and thousands in my back
Always having to be on the attack
Having to just survive is all I know
Constantly looked at as a foe
Being alone is nothing new to me
But yet again no one can see
The hurt inside my heart and soul
Never being able to reach my goal
Of finally living and being content
And not carry around all my depressing content